Yesterday I seemed to be filled with an abnormal amount of self-deprecating pressure which I’m finding to be completely unnecessary. We all know I enjoy writing about my goals and going after what I want in life but sometimes I need to distinguish what is truly making me happy from what is more of a nuisance to me. I prefer my life to be filled with things I look forward to and want to be doing, not those that don’t bring a smile to my face. I came across this post from Stephanie Klein that made me feel better about this topic and reminded me I am only human.
Not so long ago I became better about using the word no. There was a point in life that I felt so badly about ever saying no to certain invitations. I kept my plate bursting with plans that weren’t a priority on my list because I felt it was the right thing or something I should be doing. I was trying to be the best person I could be to everyone in my life. I soon realized that this left me resentful and not able to find time for me. I don’t need to feel guilty about not going somewhere if I prefer to be doing something else or in fact if I prefer to be doing nothing at all.
Regarding yesterday, I found myself putting pressure on what I need to do for the remainder of my staycation. The nerve of myself! There is something wrong with this picture. It’s my time away from my everyday busy schedule and I wanted to be able to relax and do what I feel at that moment. Of course my mind was filled with all of the errands that need to be accomplished and closets that should be organized. And I make the mistake of telling people in my life about these things and later they ask me if I had gotten around to the chores and I say no and I’m left feeling guilty. It’s a vicious cycle. One I brought on all by myself. Silly, isn’t it?
So the day ended with me doing a quick straightening up around the apartment and making myself a nice dinner with a glass of wine from a bottle I acquired during a visit to the Long Island Wineries back in June. I watched Lipstick Jungle on Netflix. Lindsay Price plays my favorite character. She has sass. There is something within her personality I can relate to. And I love her style. It’s disappointing that the show went off the air after only two seasons.
As I sit here finalizing this blog post I’m having my morning cup of coffee and just finished a hearty bowl of oats. I’m going to enjoy this day and see where it leads me. I already know it will end at The Plaza tonight where I will join two girlfriends for a drink. Now this I can live with.
